This is a pretty nice place.

i’m jealous of this guy…chris mccandless played by emile hirsch in the 2007 movie into the wild. 

so i’m slumped over my desk, been staring at the screen and fixing this, linking that, measuring those, and pasting these since 10 am. because i procrastinated and now i’m doing the last minute thing that i hate to admit that i’ve perfected. even though i work well under pressure, i don’t really like it. i wish i could just drop everything…and not do anything. maybe just go live in a forest. or be a trucker. yeah, a trucker. get to be on the road and see places and grow a gut…well ok not the last part (but i think it’s a given). i wish i could just go outside and walk…walk some more, walk out on assignments, classes, exams, work, responsibilities, patching up failed relationships all that shit. and just…not do anything unless i wanted to. find a bench and just sit, for as long as i wanted to.

but then i like my showers, i like my stuff, i like doing things, and i actually like my job. and i like going to school (some days) and i like having a car, i like cable, and i like when people tell me i make really cool things. maybe the whole carefree thing can work for some people and they can even have movies made about them. i don’t know if i want a movie made about me, but i want to make a mark (punanunanunanuna punnn!) with my graphic design work. i want to make an impact on at least one person. and i don’t see myself doing that by dropping everything to go play with bears. or whatever. so for now, i’m just gonna work. keep working. and working, and working, and working. i’m young, and i still have two years left of college before i have to be an adult with my adult degree and my adult job. two fricken years…i can change within two years, a lot. and that’s pretty damned exciting to think about. and pretty damned sweet to actually do. so i guess instead of being bummed about deadlines and expenses, and all the little things that make it seem like there’s no reason to keep it up, i could just do something. do things. and instead of making problems for myself and finding excuses for why i suck at life, i just need to man it up and fucking overcome! yeah!

because compared to some folks out there, i have it really fucking easy…and i need a little stimulation.