Won’t be much lately.

last night/thirty minutes ago…wow. incredible, amazing.

you want a recap? probably not but i want to document it.

last night was my date with christina (yes…yes, christina. i can’t make that up.) we had dinner and drinks at my friend adrianna’s after work and we really hit it off. like really. very really. it was amazing. we talked about everything and she didn’t find me repulsive at all! maybe it was mostly the alcohol, but neither of us had THAT much to drink. so, okay, what happened?

hey, nice to finally meet you (internal monologue: holy shit you’re gorgeous, i hope you can’t tell how loudly i’m sexing you up with my eyes. i mean sizing!)

we talk, mostly about work because we’re workaholics. and then we got to talking about history – where we grew up, where we are now, where we might be, who gets to be on top first, another shot of liquid courage and maybe you’ll tell me you’re not wearing panties…etc. etc.

after dinner we started getting a lot more comfortable next to each other. i made the first move, i put my hand on her waist on the way to the living room where we were going to not watch a movie we sat next to each other…then we switched and i was under her under the blanket. last time this happened i was too chicken shit to make a move but last night i was all over that. my friend adrianna’s married so she and her husband were actually watching the movie but would sneak a look at what we were up to. honestly, i don’t even remember what we were watching. but adrianna did manage to break us apart long enough to tell us “you’re not having sex in my house, hon…”. i live maybe two blocks away from adrianna so that wasn’t a problem. we said good night and left.

i’m so glad i changed my sheets.

i won’t go into the details past ‘got our clothes off…’ because i’m not good at writing about that.

okay, i am, but it takes time to write that kind of thing. i don’t want it to sound too ‘dear hustler’. and if i do it now, it will.

so then it’s 7:30 am and i have to get her back to adrianna’s. she’s leaving today. actually, she might’ve already left. she lives out of town and she’s a flight attendant. she’s always gone. i’m not sure when she’ll be in town again, adrianna said it’s been maybe 5-6 years since they last saw each other. we have each others’ numbers. i’m not sure if i’ll call her. i’m not sure if she’ll call me. i won’t be a jerk about it just because she’s out of town. if she calls, i’ll answer. if she texts, i’ll reply. if i call or text and she doesn’t reply, i won’t be butthurt. we had fun. and it’s been a while since i really had ‘fun’.

Really want to…really.

Long time no rant.

Lots of things have been going on, lots and lots. I will go into detail some day, but for now, I’ll keep it relatively simple.

As of a couple of days ago, there’s no more old hag. As of tomorrow…going to meet someone at a friend’s get together. The chick I talked about that she’s been trying to set me up with is finally in town. So we’re going to have dinner or something at my friend Adrianna’s place and we’re going to get tore up! I’m still sort of recovering from the weekend, and I took a week off from classes because I need some sort of calm down time.

I registered for summer classes…because I’m failing my history and art history classes horribly. I might even be failing french, hope not. But during the summer I’ll be taking an english and history class. Maybe a math class. Just some GE’s I need to get out of the way so I can focus on my major classes the next couple of semesters. Classes have been on the back burner lately.

So…I’ll be updating this more often now that things are beginning to settle.

Pros: Someone at work told me I looked nice in dress-shirts.

Cons: I’ve been wearing dress-shirts to work since I started. (also, dressing nice does not make up for the mistakes my department has been making for the past three months. We’re getting threats :[)

This is a pretty nice place.

i’m jealous of this guy…chris mccandless played by emile hirsch in the 2007 movie into the wild. 

so i’m slumped over my desk, been staring at the screen and fixing this, linking that, measuring those, and pasting these since 10 am. because i procrastinated and now i’m doing the last minute thing that i hate to admit that i’ve perfected. even though i work well under pressure, i don’t really like it. i wish i could just drop everything…and not do anything. maybe just go live in a forest. or be a trucker. yeah, a trucker. get to be on the road and see places and grow a gut…well ok not the last part (but i think it’s a given). i wish i could just go outside and walk…walk some more, walk out on assignments, classes, exams, work, responsibilities, patching up failed relationships all that shit. and just…not do anything unless i wanted to. find a bench and just sit, for as long as i wanted to.

but then i like my showers, i like my stuff, i like doing things, and i actually like my job. and i like going to school (some days) and i like having a car, i like cable, and i like when people tell me i make really cool things. maybe the whole carefree thing can work for some people and they can even have movies made about them. i don’t know if i want a movie made about me, but i want to make a mark (punanunanunanuna punnn!) with my graphic design work. i want to make an impact on at least one person. and i don’t see myself doing that by dropping everything to go play with bears. or whatever. so for now, i’m just gonna work. keep working. and working, and working, and working. i’m young, and i still have two years left of college before i have to be an adult with my adult degree and my adult job. two fricken years…i can change within two years, a lot. and that’s pretty damned exciting to think about. and pretty damned sweet to actually do. so i guess instead of being bummed about deadlines and expenses, and all the little things that make it seem like there’s no reason to keep it up, i could just do something. do things. and instead of making problems for myself and finding excuses for why i suck at life, i just need to man it up and fucking overcome! yeah!

because compared to some folks out there, i have it really fucking easy…and i need a little stimulation.

Because I look through windows

i like sex! that’s pretty obvious right? and…i know that women dig sex! like…sex sex. no making-love, which a MINORITY of women like…i mean like jackhammering, sweat flying, “who’s your daddy and what does he do!?!” SEX.

my coworker’s been trying to set me up with her best friend. she thinks i need a nice girl in my life. that’d be a nice change. and her best friend is soooo cute. and she works out…a lot. i don’t work out a lot, i’m kinda lanky…i play sports, i try to go to the gym at school or play some ball whenever i have time. but i never considered that working out. but anyway, she thought that could be something we had in common. and her friend is part asian. which just sets up a great ‘hey, do you have some asian in you? would you like more?’ scenario. she won’t give me her number though, she says i’ll screw it all up so she’s gonna set it up. she’s probably right. come to think of it…i don’t even know if i remember how to flirt anymore. with strangers, i mean. i flirt with women i’m familiar with all the time, and on occasion, i’ll feel like chatting up a girl and it’s usually hit and miss. but how do yo go from ‘hi.’ to…the no pants dance? i guess i’ll have to figure something out.

i have to go to home depot and buy printer ink. if i do no do that today before work, i will be royally screwed over the weekend. and that doesn’t mean i’ll bump into a princess and take her home to make sweet sweet dirty whore sex in her. it means i won’t get my project done. i’ve set aside an entire weekend for this portfolio. and i mean THE ENTIRE WEEKEND. every waking second of it will be devoted to my portfolio.

so i’m going to go get dressed and head to officedepot. there’s one sort of close by that’s closing so every thing’s on sale. hopefully they haven’t closed yet. okbai

happy steaks and a bj day!1

male’s valentime’s is serioustimes too! so we’re having a bbq at work today, i found that extremely hilarious seeing as how today is STEAK and a BJ DAY!!!11! woot wootalthough i will not be getting a bj with my steak at work, i’m sure through some sort of devious coaxing and much begging the latter of steak and a bj day will commence. (i’m lame but i can be charming when it has to come down to it)  i have not been doing so well on that front anway, actually, i’ve not been doing well on any angle when it comes to the ladies. i’ve come to realize that my bouts of satyriasis (i believe the female version is nymphomania) have never lead to anything but trouble upon trouble upon burnt french toast and broken coffee tables and great great raw sex. as a man, why would i even complain? well, as a young man i’m pretty sure i’m breaking all sorts of unwritten (possibly written ones too) doctrines by even seeming like i’m complaining about ‘gettin some’. i’m not complaining…well ok, OK! i am. but only because of recent events. i was dumped – someone asked me how i got dumped when i wasn’t even in a relationship – well i did, serves me right anyway for breaking the fuckbuddy rules. gosh-darned. but i’m not dwelling, i shant! moving along…so then i’ve been fighting more (yes MORE) with…i need a name for her….oldhag. that sounds a tad bit harsh but fitting at times like these. in case you’ve forgotten, ‘oldhag‘ is crazy woman who wanted to argue about mayans. so we’ve been arguing about more stupid things. like late texts and the lack of attitude on her side (bwahahaha). it’s been messy. but i seriously need to do some deep, penetrating, unrelenting, all-night, all-out…soul searching. soon, in the meantime i’ll be locking myself in the house while i finish my portfolio things. yup…i’m considering turning one in…well i think this is a good place to stop. kbie 

i probably won’t be alive.

so i’m bored out of my mind. amazingly enough, too bored to go to sleep. i mean i can feel it, i’m tired and i’m quite certain that if (i just yawned) i got into bed, i would sleep if i wanted to. but i don’t want to. for no good reason, i don’t want to sleep. i’m thinking about staying in my jeans and t-shirt and hoodie until it is time to go to class. i have class at 10. it is my history class…the one i should show up too as alert as possible. i’m thinking about making coffee…i’ve noticed that if i drink coffee after 3 pm, the latest i stay up and alert is 4 am. before, i used to drink coffee at work around 6 and i would stay up until 2 to 3 in the morning, forcing myself to sleep but relatively jittery even in bed. so, what would happen if i drink coffee now, it is 2 am right now. hmmm…. i will probably stay up…i am very lazy right now but i’m sure after a cup of coffee i’ll be doing cartwheels. if i’m going to do this, i should do something productive. i have a ton of things i could be doing. i’ve been looking up how long a person can last without sleep, and i found out that after about 48 hours, you get kind of messed up. i’ve done it before, stayed awake for 56 hours and it was such a trip. and i remember pulling allnighters, no sleep at all, and the first chance i get to close my eyes for a few minutes, i was knocked out for an hour. i felt like i was asleep for days though after that hour. i don’t plan on making this a regular thing, i love sleep, i don’t always get enough but i still get some. just not tonight it’s going to be dawn at 6:57 am, and sunrise at 7:23 am. i might catch that. i might even drive to school before then, park on the roof of my favorite parking garage, and watch the sunrise. so, i think i will make my coffee now, and i will get to work on some things. then i will take a cold shower at around 5 am. i might even come back and tell you i quit this little expedition or maybe i won’t. i just know that people don’t die from sleep deprivation, not directly anyway.

Soooooooo, i slept. from 5 pm to 12 minutes ago [it is now 630 pm]. i made it through most of the day and i even showed up to all my classes. got to school on time for the sunrise (i think sunsets kick more ass) and even drove home safely!

so about that sunrise…by then (730ish) i was kind of feeling the effects of no sleep…i mean absolutely no sleep + caffeine + brrr cold weather. i was walking around trying to find the best place to watch the sunrise (rooftop garage wasn’t cutting it), so i ended up on a bridge. i leaned against the railing because i didn’t want to just fall over, and as i leaned…i felt a lot shaking. i thought i was tripping out! i mean it felt lik my whole body was shaking…so i un-leaned against the railing, still, i could feel shaking…wtf! but, i think that’s just normally what happens on bridges, it shakes…dunno, never really spent much time on them. it made me laugh (on the inside). then after that i went to study…yup, study, for my history class. then i got my picture taken by some hotties in a photo class. but for the most part, it was a fine day.

i’m never voluntarily not sleeping again (unless i have absolutely nothing to do). and even then, it isn’t all that healthy. it was kinda fun, but kinda not. i are late for work. kbai.

accomodate me!

hahaha so…i saw this commercial on tv for ‘edible arrangements’

so basically it’s an edible bouquet of fruits…neat huh? i thought so…i think i’m going to get someone special (yours truly) one of these, maybe not the hello kitty one…although i know someone who would really like that, but probably something that’s 3/4s or even 4/4s dipped in chocolate. the price isn’t too bad, i think, it’s almost as much as getting a bouquet of flowers delivered to someone, only you can eat this bouquet! :nom nom nom:

khungrynaobai!

mike relaxes his eyebrows

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss’s car. (d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach … and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights: a) Yeah, Ba-by, Push it! b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
29: We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
” BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”

I hope this clears up any confusion.

new blog

i made a new blog. here: NEW BLOG!

i also finished my rnd_time clock! here it is…

and here’s the rnd_time clock that’s over $200

mine cost a total of $30 i think, i don’t remember…i like how it turned out.

well k that’s pretty all…go check out my new blog kthxbai!

We’re trying.

1. I spent $20 on vitamin water ($1/bottle…SALE ). I told myself I wouldn’t buy anymore because I have at least 15 bottles in my car and another 10 in the fridge. But I got some more.
2. I bought new pens. And highligthers. I’m slowly turning my office into an OfficeMax. I can’t help it, I have this sick obsession with things that make marks. I also tend to lose my pens/pencils/markers a lot. Mostly in my own house, but I will buy more, even when I know I already have enough. Because I like seeing them everywhere, or not seeing them…wut?
3. I drank coffee at 6pm. And there is a problem with that.
4. I’m learning that maybe the goal is not to always get even, but to get over. wut?
5. There’s a 1300 pound neon-polkadotted whale shark in the room.
6. I take a lot of things for granted. I should stop.
7. I still haven’t learned how to play the guitar that great.
8. Everything’s the same all the time.
9. The sex is like an addiction.
10. But this is not what this is about. There’s not always a connection. I mean outside. I mean inside. I don’t know, and that’s what is bugging me. Sex is not a crutch. I don’t want a crutch. I saw a guy who had his arm in a sling slip down the stairs of a parking garage.